As some of u may know... i'm taking my part time degree now... this is my 1st year at it.. or should i even say... the 1st semester... and i'm getting real demoralized... I'm taking English with Psychology.. this semester i'm only taking 2 modules... 1 core and 1 ucore(online module)..

but i'm really sick and tired of this... we have 1 assignment due on the last thursday of every month for 3 months, which makes it 3 assignments for juz 1 module.. and u have to take an exam.. but is ok.. i can live with that... but what really demoralized mi is my tutorial lecturer... she is so stingy with her assignment marks that it pulled down the whole tutorial class average...

the 1st assignment... whole class average marks = 59.. i got a 67, which was a B... i was already beri demoralized... cos i did the assignment together with Hsuping... our pts were similar.. but she got 75 marks... an A.. and yes.. she was in another tutorial group with another lecturer... and her class average marks was 60+++!

but.. nvm.. i decided to work harder for the 2nd assignment... but.. guess what again.. this time round ... Hsuping got her marks 1st... she got 80(wow!), and her class average marks was 75... but my class again? i went into the website... hoping to see a more hopeful mark... but seems there was some problem with the website.. could not see my marks.. but could see the class average marks.. i took a look.. and totally felt hopeless... my class average marks was 57!!!

after seeing this.. my heart sank to the pit... and guess what.. i got 60 marks for this 2nd assignment... and the same thing goes again.. my points were similar to Hsuping's but.. a diff of 20 marks?? if i'm the only one getting this kind of marks.. maybe i'm really lousy.. but class average of 57 marks? more than 2/3 of the people in my tutorial class are english teachers... how could this be?

it seems the other tutorial groups did farely well too.. only my tutorial group had this kind of marks... then after asking around.. realized that my tutorial lecturer is beri stingy with her marks... and her previous tutorial groups encountered the same experience... the class voiced out to her about this.. and she said she will compensate for it.. how is she gonna compensate? or make up for it? the marks are already in... what else can she do?

so now.. does that mean assignment marks are not based on what u wrote? it seems to mi that it's based on which lecturer u get... so it's basically luck.. isn't it? then i muz be real unlucky.... there's no standization of the marking at all.. we juz have to see our luck... pray we get the more lenient lecturer in order to get a good grade... i put in so much effort for my assignments... and i think the same goes for my tutorial mates... but what did we gain in the end?? my next assignment is due tomolo.. and i simply dun feel like doing it... why? no matter how hard i try.. i will juz end up with a lousy grade... life is unfair...

and guess what.. my p6 class is not trying to put in effort for their exams.. i tried to help them.. practice oral, exam papers with them.. but.. their attitude is simply dun-care... yes they will do their homework.. but.. u can feel that they simply dun care about their exams... dun bother to listen to u... u see them looking at u during lessons.. but somehow u noe... their minds are elsewhere...

i am really worried for them and i really hope they do well for their exams.. not for anyone.. but themselves... but it seems to mi... they dun even wan to work hard themselves.. tried talking to them quite a few times.. but it seems my advice juz went down the drain.. everytime i tried to talk to them.. i feel so dejected... maybe it's juz mi? maybe i really suk at being a teacher.. maybe i should juz quit teaching...

I'm a lousy teacher...